


lunae lumen (the light of the moon)

by Anonymous



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Incest, M/M, Not beta'd we die like men, POV Sam Winchester, Pining, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, it sort of spilled out of me, it's a poem, it's got some angst ok, it's probably gonna hit different for different people, maybe not, mentions of blood in a very mild way, minor angst tho, my first sam/dean fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29537295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: this is basically a poem in first person POV from sam about loving dean in ways he probably shouldn't.let's be real here, tho, love is love, you can't help that.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60
Collections: Anonymous





	lunae lumen (the light of the moon)

**Author's Note:**

> i do not support incest (in real life, anyways) on good days, because honestly i believe that it's a little fucked up to be having sex with your sibling. 
> 
> of course, can't exactly deny the chemistry between sam and dean, and yeah, it's most likely just brotherly, but i'm new at this okay so i'm getting used to the idea of shipping them and what that means about me. i don't have any siblings so that probably helps explain some of this 
> 
> and, of course, to cope, i'm spilling my guts about what it could be and what it looks like.
> 
> this is not me judging you for reading this or shipping sam/dean. i'm in it with you, okay? it's just new and strange and i'm exploring. (which is why this is being posted anonymously)
> 
> if you liked it, let me know. i always love getting love from you guys :3

people tell me that  
it's because of his looks

the curve of his mouth  
the twist of his tongue as it  
drags along his  
perfect  
straight teeth

or  
maybe they don't tell me  
they think that's what it is  
it's in their  
eyes

i've never needed voices  
to hear what they're saying

but it's not  
that

it's not his eyes that are the  
brightest  
shade of green  
and the  
darkest shade of  
gold  
that i've ever seen

it's not even his  
grin  
oh,  
fuck  
it's not even his grin  
or that  
stupid  
fucking  
smirk

it's the  
bruises  
he lets me soothe on his  
chest  
and shoulders

it's the calluses  
on his  
warm hands

it's the scars  
carved into  
his body  
that knit the story of  
him

it's the blood that  
pours and  
pours  
that i scoop up with  
trembling fingers and  
push back into him

it's that look  
when he needs something  
i can give  
when he needs me to  
remind him that  
i'm not going to fade away  
like the  
things  
we hunt

it's the  
shattered  
cracked  
shell of him when  
he tells me  
he can't  
and i just pull  
him closer  
and whisper

'it's okay  
i'll be there to catch you  
when you  
fall  
i won't let you  
feel the  
weight of your mistakes  
when you finally  
land'

i can't tell him  
that seeing him  
smile  
like that  
like there's nothing  
that could possibly be  
wrong  
like he's never  
known a sadness  
so deep it  
chokes and  
suffocates  
is like  
tasting something  
sweet  
for the first time  
or  
like getting a  
shot of  
euphoria

i can't tell him  
that knowing he  
managed to survive  
knowing  
he's still  
(mine)  
around  
is like  
breathing  
oh,  
god  
it's like breathing  
for the first time

i can't tell him  
that i want to  
drink  
him  
that i think he would  
taste like  
everything i've ever  
wanted

i can't tell him  
that if i'm the ocean  
then he's the moon  
pushing and  
pulling me  
keeping me from  
losing  
myself  
the only thing  
that's ever  
really  
been able to  
hold  
me

and i can't  
stop

i can't  
stop

i  
can't  
stop

and i  
i don't  
want to

**Author's Note:**

> short, sweet (hopefully), and a little blue
> 
> comments, please, that would be great, even if you're screaming at me because you hated this. kudos are also fantastic :)
> 
> thanks for taking the time to read this, even if you hated it


End file.
